This past weekend – on April 13th, 2024 – the world was witness to yet another senseless example of what is now referred to as misogynist terrorism. Six “random” people were murdered, and a dozen others were seriously injured at a shopping centre in Sydney, Australia.
“Bondi Junction Mall Attacker Obviously Targeted Women” – BBC News
“Australian Killer’s Father Reveals Why Son Targeted Women” – Fox News
“Sydney Stabbing Killer Angry He Couldn’t Get a Girlfriend” – The Independent
“The ideology of the attacker was crystal clear – a hatred of women.” – New York Times
Even from the other side of the planet, this hit home. Toronto experienced this same tragedy back in 2018 with a van attack, killing 11 people and injuring 15 more. Our country mourns annually on December 6th, in recognition of the 14 killed and 14 injured in Montreal’s École Polytechnique Massacre.
There is no doubt or ignorance whatsoever that these attacks are hugely influenced by mental illness. That is individual, it’s institutional, it’s an epidemic all its own. Notwithstanding, they are also motivated by a hatred and resentment towards women. That is a societal problem.
After 2 years of research, Nottingham University found that over half the women who contributed had experienced threatening behaviour, almost half had been groped, a quarter had been followed home and a quarter had been sexually assaulted.
“This has consequences for girls and young women. I don’t think the boys who do it realise the impact of what they do.” – Dr Loretta Trickett, Nottingham Trent University
Their research also showed unanimity in not only what experts believe is at the root of the problem, but also what the approach to the solution should look like.
“If the problem starts with childhood, so does the solution. Breaking the dependence on the mother as “primary carer” is the first step. For this to happen, we need to reconsider the value of social engineering. [It’s] to engage fathers in child-rearing so that the fury and disappointment and authority is not vested only in the person of the mother but shared between two parents”
Basically, resentment for some men is rooted in perceived authority. Mothers, but also figures in their childhood such as teachers, that is still heavily female-dominated career. The theory is saying that it isn’t because men are conscious of the prejudice, or that it’s based on women’s perceived weakness or being less-than. It’s the dynamic between the genders that begins from birth, and the society in which we are all raised that develops our perception of self and others.
Men are not the enemy.
Are men the perpetrators of these widespread acts of violence? Usually. Are all men violent? Absolutely not.
The solution is not to point the finger. It never is.
The solution is to change the way we engage with each other.
The solution is to look at the way we all talk about each other. Treat each other. Behave as examples to the children and youth around us. And that takes women and men.
A man physically confronted the Sydney attacker, delaying his rampage. Two men saved the life of the baby whose mother was killed in the attack. Men are part of the first-responders who attend to these scenes. They are the fathers and brothers and husbands and boyfriends of the victims. There is no benefit to behaving as though it’s one gender versus the other. It’s the oldest narrative in the book: Right vs Wrong.
Mental illness doesn’t know gender. Neither do feelings, emotions, self-consciousness, insecurities, or trauma. But the way we approach those things – the way we teach and show our kids how to deal with it – historically has been different for boys versus girls. We need to talk to our boys, and treat them the same way we do our girls. We also need men to set the example. Why would boys do something the men around them aren’t doing? If the prevailing theory is correct – how would it truly help to only have women trying to change the narrative to boys, when that is just another example of perceived female authority? We need everyone – we need each other.
There are thousands of resources out there about how to talk to boys, and even how to approach topics like misogyny. We can’t be afraid of these conversations, and we can’t be afraid of asking the men in our lives to be an active part of them. We need to see the flags, and we need to act to stop them from being raised in the first place.
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